Am I being judged? Or am I judging myself?

After a much-needed break from proper blogging, I feel like I want to give it a go again. Now that I’m creating videos for my YouTube channel regularly, I don’t have much time to focus on writing. I miss it so I think I’ll aim to post on this blog at least once per week.

I’ve been back in Scotland for almost three weeks now and will be off to Thailand in a few days. It almost seems like I never left because everything here is the same. I’m back into “the swing of things” fine but I’m also struggling to come to terms with my eating. I’m still trying to sort out categories of foods: the foods I’m allowed to eat vs. the foods should I avoid, and then, of course, the foods I actually want to eat. I imagine these categories in a Venn diagram.

foods-im-allowed-to-eat

The foods I’m allowed to eat include fruit, veggies, potatoes, whole grains, and rice. The foods I should avoid are things like overt fats, processed foods, hummus, cakes, bread, other gluten/malt containing foods, and coffee. My problem is that I want to venture into the ‘foods I should avoid’ circle as often as I like without feeling guilty or judged.

I feel like I’m internalising a lot of judgement when it comes to the foods I eat. On one hand, I don’t care what other people think of me, but I can’t shake the feeling that some people are judging me for what I eat. They say they aren’t judging me personally, but if they seem to judge other people for eating similarly to how I’m eating currently, then it should follow that they are in fact judging me for eating the very same way.

Does it matter if others judge me? Not really, but I don’t like the feeling of being perceived as weak or deficient just because I eat differently.

I’ve been vegan for years now. My opinions and preferences for foods have changed. Yes, I was interested in a raw fruitarian lifestyle during the summer and still would be happy to live that way depending on where I end up living. I’m eating healthy cooked foods now (at least what I deem to be healthy, some people would argue otherwise) and I enjoy them. In the summer, depending on where we travel to first, I’ll probably revert back to eating mainly fruit simply because my favourite fruits will be in season and widely available.

Maybe it’s just me, but I never view eating habits as something that can be set in stone. I can never make the claim that I’d only eat fruit for the rest of my life, or that I’d never eat cooked food ever again.

If you don’t like eating cooked food, don’t eat it, but don’t judge others as deficient because they enjoy it. And similarly, don’t judge raw vegans just because you can’t imagine living that way. How about we don’t judge others at all? (I found Leo Babauta’s article, Letting Go of Judging People, helpful today.)

Or maybe my problem isn’t that others are judging me. Perhaps I’m too self-critical? Because for some reason, I can’t allow myself to not be strict when it comes to eating, so I feel judged or guilty anytime I relax my eating standards?

Sometimes I think it would be easier for me if I didn’t publicise the food I eat on social media. Perhaps I should just disappear for a bit and eat my food alone.

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Happy Friday!

I think I’ll do more ‘What I eat’ videos during the week because they seem to be popular. I think we’re all interested and curious about the eating habits of others. At least I know I am, since my Instagram feed is nothing but food! 🙂

 

I’ve been eating more fats lately and I feel good. Today I even managed to eat an entire 200g tub of hummus! It was tasty and filling but I probably shouldn’t be eating it every day. Avocado is my first choice for fat since it isn’t processed at all, but I also picked up some hummus and Meridian peanut butter to eat as I like. I’ll eat fats as I crave them but will try to fill up on fruit first.

At any rate, I’m happy with all the food I ate today and everything I’ve eaten this week. I’m ready for the weekend as this will be my first full weekend with Kuba now that I’ve been back here for close to a week.

I hope you have a nice weekend! Catch up with you on Monday. Thanks for reading my blog and watching my videos! 🙂

Minimalist flat tour: Dundee edition!

Kuba and I are both extreme minimalists, meaning all of our belongings can fit into one or two bags each. It should be no surprise that our flat is super simple as well!

 

In case you missed it, this video shows you my belongings, give or take a few items stored here in the flat. By next summer, Kuba and I will both downsize our belongings significantly so we can start travelling the world together. Here’s the corresponding blog post as well: What’s in my bag?

 

Keep in mind not all minimalists live this way. Some have big houses, cars, and more than one plate in their kitchen! Minimalism just means you declutter your life and your mind with unnecessary possessions and negative or harmful ideas.

My quality of life has improved immensely since I left the States, and I know I owe it all to this minimalist lifestyle. I’m happier than I’ve ever been and my life keeps getting better! Check out my previous post about minimalism and happiness if you need some extra inspiration. Definitely watch this TED talk by ‘The Minimalists’ because this is what motivated me to make a change!